Lately, I had been telling my male friends off when they made stupid remarks & jokes. For example, yesterday afternoon I sent a short clip of my climbing to a male friend and his comment was his niece was better. My replied to him was I deleted the clip. He asked me why I deleted it? I told him I didn’t asked to be compared to his niece whom I don’t know her at all and when I sent him the clip I was just sharing with him my progress. Since he wanted to compare us I might as well delete the clip. Then he replied OMG.
When he compared me to a stranger, I felt irritated because I didn’t ask him who was better and I wasn’t in a. competition with his niece so why compared. I never claimed to him I was better than his niece and I really don’t give a damn if she was better than me or not. I told him off because I didn’t think it was necessary to compare. Is stupid and pointless to compare. And to compare me to a stranger, I just felt his action was ridiculous. Nowadays I don’t put up with shitty behaviours/actions from men. I had tolerated a lot of men bullshit in the past and I wouldn’t entertain their bullshit anymore.
Beside this particular male friend, I had also been putting Dino on his spot when he said or made some stupid remarks or jokes that he thought he was being funny but in actual fact it wasn’t at all. Sometimes I ignored and didn’t reply back to his messages. A couple of weeks ago, he made fun about my purposed made 10 feet high bookshelves. I showed him a pic of it and he saw the # of books I had so he was trying to tease/joke that he didn’t know I could read!! That flipping comment sent my blood boiling and I answered him back that “Definitely can read better than you can”. Then he replied he was just teasing and joking with me. I told him I felt insulted by his comment and that he was insulting my intelligent. I also told him he can’t jokes and makes fun about my intelligence or dreams.
I also told him if I hadn’t knew him for 20+ years, I would had deleted him off from my life based on his last comment. Then he tried to change the topic by saying that ok he noted and that he reserved the rights to tease me on anything he wants. I told him NO!! He doesn’t have the rights to tease me on anything he wants. I’m not bestowing the rights to him. In the past, I would had let him off the hook easily. But nowadays I didn’t and never will. I used to find him interesting and fun, but now I just find him irritating and boring 40% of the time when we chat.
I used to find him physically attractive (I haven’t seen him in over 20 years), but now I’m not so sure. I mean he is after all a 55 years old uncle. Haha. Gone were the days when I thought fondly of him. And I have no issue of cutting him off from my life if he continues with his lame jokes that irks me. To be honest, I wished I had the same guts a couple of years ago because then I would had called Peter out for his fucking shitty behaviours. But at that time, I was in love with him and didn’t want to lose him. So instead I lost myself, my self-worth and my heart to a man who lied to me from Day 1 he stepped back into my life. And I emboldened his lies because I chose to ignore all the red flags and even apologised and begged him not to be upset with me when I called him out on his bullshits. I forgave him so many time and accepted his shitty treatments when I should had walked away from it. It was a painful lesson, but it was a lesson I needed because without that lesson I wouldn’t be a better version of myself today.
And that was why I called out Michael when he gave me the radio silent. It just brought back all the negative feelings and I didn’t like how I felt so I chose to distance myself. And frankly I don’t miss Michael at all. I think he replied back to my last message, but I didn’t read. I actually archive his chat with me so unless I unarchive it, I won’t be able to read it. And I don’t plan to unarchive it anytime soon. It doesn’t matter anymore what he has to say because it is unimportant to me. As I had stated in the past, I don’t know him well. We were not really friends. At best 2 strangers who entertained the same thoughts of 1 night stand if opportunity presented itself. Nothing more, nothing less. I don’t like him enough to feel like it will be my lost if he isn’t in my life.
Frankly, I’m actually happy that I called him out on his behaviours although is his choice to reply me or not, but I can’t stand people who have no basic manners and courtesy. Anyway, I really don’t care anymore. I’m just very happy with the fact that I have changed and I don’t put up with men shitty behaviour anymore! Haha.
Is extremely liberating to be able to not give a shit of pleasing men! Women, we shouldn’t silence our voice because without it, we might lose ourselves. Is not worth to lose ourselves on men who don’t deserve us!! Always remember to cherish yourself!!
freespiritedcolumn 